Stories

Page 8

• Sexual Abuse

  After the local scout leader kissed me, he told me it would be ok if we had had sex because he had had a vasectomy. I was 14. He was my Dad’s age so in his 40’s
• Emotional Abuse

  This is not a story of sexual assault, but I did have an experience of the adults running a troop lying and protecting one another when confronted about their treatment of members of the troop.

  My son’s regular scout leader was very good, but on one occasion when he was away, his daughter, an assistant leader, and another female assistant leader were in charge. Stories started circulating on the school playground the next day about the assistant leaders having been verbally aggressive with our children and calling the boys stupid. I asked my son if this had happened and he confirmed that it had, but that it was directed at slightly older boys in the group, not at him. I know this is in no way as devastating as a sexual assault (though ~I don’t think children really ever recover from being called stupid by an adult), but it was still unacceptable behaviour on the part of the adults in charge. When I raised it with the leader, he asked his daughter (!) and the other assistant leader about it and they denied that they had been verbally aggressive or had called any of the children stupid. I said he had a clear conflict of interest since one of the people who had behaved badly was his own daughter. So a district leader was brought in. She told me no changes would be made in our local scout group and offered to move my son to a different troop. I said that wouldn’t fix the problem in the troop. We declined the transfer and withdrew our son from scouts. I just felt that there was no way to get to the truth of the matter and that the adults would protect one another. I encouraged other parents to report what their sons had told them about that evening, but none of them would for fear of their sons being moved from the troop and away from friends. That made it very easy for the scout leaders to say to me: “But you are the only one complaining.” One parent actually said that she wanted her son to go on the camp so that she and her husband could have a weekend to themselves! So, in this case, I think the parents bear significant responsibility for enabling the troop leaders’ behaviour.

  The dangerous thing in this case was how the adults in charge lied to protect themselves and one another. Anyone with unsavory intentions would have been emboldened.

  I don’t remember the exact year this all happened, but could look it up if required. It was around 2014.
• Pre 2014

  My brother was in the scouts in the 70s. His leader would come to our house on a Saturday and take my brother to his house to play with his trains or just to “help him” with things. My brother left the scouts without reason.

  My mum kept his uniform and later in life she gave it back to him and he immediately burnt it. This was a trigger for my brother and he reported his abuse to the police. By this stage the perpetrator was old and infirm and soon passed away. The police told my brother that they knew about this man for years but never had enough evidence to charge him.

  This led to a downward spiral for my brother, his marriage failed, he became an alcoholic and under psychiatric care. He was in half way houses and became a recluse. He died in 2021 of alcohol abuse and self neglect. He was 57.

  My family and I strongly believe that this would not have happened if my brother felt he had got some justice when he reported his abuse to the police. It had taken him years to build up the courage and speak out only to be left with tortuous memories and no closure.
• Sexual Abuse

  I was sexually abused by a Scout leader when I was 12, back in the mid ‘70s – thankfully I only suffered one night, others had it much worse. I had only recently joined the pack and unbeknown to me (and my parents) it was a well known “secret”! I those days we had no one to turn to – your parents wouldn’t believe you.
• Sexual Abuse

  Whilst collecting my toddler child I walked into a sitting room where my younger cousin and his friends were with their scout leader. I witnessed the scout leader touching one of the boys inappropriately.
  The scout group wore kilts and the leader had my cousin’s friend on his lap and had his hand underneath the boy’s kilt. He did not stop when I entered the room and I collected my toddler and left my aunt’s house who was not at home.
  I told my mother who told my aunt who said that it was nothing that I was mistaken and that neighbours had said they’d seen things take place whilst my younger cousin was in the scout leaders car but that she believed they too were mistaken. Clearly, she was in denial and wanted to believe her son’s denials who was a young boy.
• Sexual Abuse

  It was when I was 17 and kept my pony on a field near my parents home in *****.
  A Scout Master also kept two horses there- they were on loan to him.
  Two young girls, aged about 10- 12 used to come to see the horses and the Scout master starting taking them for rides on one of his horses- he would put one of the girls on the saddle in front of him.. whilst riding round the 21.acres, concealed from public view he would put his hand inside their panties.
  One of the girls told me – I informed my mother- but she wouldn’t take any action. All I could do was tell the girl not to go near the man again and to tell her parents. She was reluctant to tell them.
  This story has stayed with me all my life- it happened in the 1960s.
  The mothers response was wrong and this man should have been exposed.
• Girl Guiding

  Our Girl Guide Pack Leader was moody. If the night didn’t go as she wanted, she would retreat to the stage and give us the cold shoulder treatment. The rest of the evening was spent in silence and we were left just sitting around. If we were all looking forward to a particular night, she would go out of her way to destroy that night. We were reduced to tears, made to march around the hall. One night I took the initiative and ran the night myself. We had a great time, she just sat on the stage and glared at us. Another leader joined and things became better.
• Adult Leader

  I was 11 when it started. He was the troop leader and a schoolteacher. He was popular with the other adults who helped run the troop. I helped put equipment away after scout meetings, events and camps. He used to give me lifts home, so my parents were reassured I was safe, even if I stayed out late. One time, in the cellar of the church hall, he lifted me up onto a box and undid my trousers. He took my trousers down, and my underwear. I hadn’t reached puberty. But he said I was beautiful. He took my penis in his mouth and held me by the bottom. It aroused me. I liked and admired him. So it seemed appropriate to follow his lead. It happened multiple times. On weekends, there would be activities that finished early or mid-afternoon. He took me back to his house. He felated me and then kissed me heavily on the lips. I didn’t like that. But didn’t feel able to object. He had me masturbate him to ejaculation. I didn’t like that either. But felt obliged. These visits to his home continued for about three years, always with the same sexual activities, until I told him about my starting to date people my own age. He had a sense that it wouldn’t be possible then.

  I had a strong suspicion that maybe four other boys had this kind of attention in the troop. But I didn’t know if they were ongoing or previous activities.

  I heard many years later that he had been convicted and jailed for multiple counts of child sexual abuse.
• Adult Leader

  When I was 7 ( in 1950) I was sexually abused by the Scout Leader who lived on the ground floor of my block of flats in ****.
  He told me that if I ever told my parents they wouldn’t believe me because he was a Scout Leader.
  I believed him and stopped going out in the courtyard where I had a garden so I wouldn’t see him. My life changed.
  I have carried this secret all my life. I shall be 80 this year. I was born in Aug 1943.
  About 5 years ago I consulted a psychologist and told him what happened. It was wonderful to finally be able to talk to a professional about this.
• Sexual Abuse

  When I was between eight and eleven in the **** scouts we were taught first aid the scout leader took me into a private room and said your main artery is at the side of your legs he then put his hand up my shorts and felt around. Another time we went camping in wales and he said a tradition in the scouts is called the gooley run which involved us taking our clothes off and running naked round the field while he watched I didn’t give it much thought then but I’m almost seventy five so it must have effected me as I still remember it vividly. I kept my scout awards paper and it’s got his initials on, he’s probably well dead by now we’re talking about the late fifties it’s probably too late to do anything but it’s a warning to others.