I was a rainbow, a brownie and then a scout and onto explorers, and after a few years returning at 20 to be a leader at 2 explorer groups in my area.

When I was 13 (a scout) and a part of the local scout show, a leader in his 20s also in the show offered to drive me and my younger brother to and from rehearsals, my parents were grateful of the help.

I exchanged numbers with this adult, and it turned into him leaving anonymous flowers at my house, begging me to be his girlfriend – to which I refused – he started following me when I walked to school, intercepting me in the cut through between alotments just to ‘make sure I got there safe’ he would show up in his car after school and incist he gave me a lift home, if I refused he’d only follow along side in the car or park and walk with me. It only stopped when his girlfriend, a woman with his baby in her 20s found that he’d been texting me and confronted me, and I told her it was unsolicited it then stopped. We’ll call him ‘creeper’.

My experience in explorers was great, we had a dynamic group of leaders, did lots of camps, I had lots of friends and made fabulous memories. One of our leaders at the time, probably in his mid 20s so approximately 10 years older than me, we will call ‘smokey’ because he is a heavy smoker.

When I rejoined my old explorer group and another locally as a leader, the same team of leaders were running the explorer units, including smokey, and they were grateful for a female leader regularly for camps and such.

On a camp with the explorers locally, only one tent was brought for the 4 leaders, with 2 pods. I wasn’t too bothered about having to share with a bloke…as planned to sleep in all my clothes anyway. That evening a few beers were had amongst the leaders, me included. I don’t fully remember what happened after this point, but I don’t recall having more that 2 drinks, (as a responsible adult on the trip why would I!?)

I woke up the next morning, with a complete blank from the night before, I was alone in my pod, the sleeping bag was over me and I was trouserless, knickerless, and sticky…in the not cleaned up after being ejaculated into kind of way. I got dressed, and asked where smokey was, and he’d gone home for a shower, odd. I felt dizzy, and confused, and when smokey returned he offered to drive me home rather than stay and finish the hike with the explorers that day.

For about 8 years, I kept this entirely to myself, I told family I’d ‘gotten too drunk’ and was hungover…..which was a laughing point in our family, ‘remember when she got drunk on a scout camp’ and this covered up the confusion.

I continued to be a leader for a few months, avoiding smokey, however he called me occasionally in the early hours asking if I was free, I never answered.

Creeper then joined our unit as a leader, I hadn’t seen him for 7 years, and avoided him, until he asked why I was ignoring him, I said what you did when I was a kid was wrong, and he brushed it off and got angry with me, saying I lead him on etc. It was that point I left scouts.

I have moved to a new district, and I so want to go back as a leader, now 10 years on from smokey. I love what the scouts can do for young people, it’s a shame this experience is ruined for some.

Smokey was after 2014, Creeper was before.