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  • Pre 2014

    I was in my second year at scouts doing badges and applied for my first aid badge. The scout master invited me and another boy to the church where we met and took us to the stock room where all the gear was stored. He made me take off my trousers and pants and started to apply a bandage to the very top of my leg while making me face the door to the main hall where the girl guides were meeting that evening. He didn’t touch me particularly inappropriately but left me in the state of undress for what seemed like quite a while. After a few minutes (which seemed like ages) the door to the main hall opened and a girl guide aged about 12 or 13 came into the stockroom, presumably to fetch something. I remember her face very clearly – her eyes going down to look and then her mumbling ‘sorry’ as she backed out of the stockroom while still looking. I was very embarrassed! I came to realise that the scout master wasn’t into boys but was clearly hoping that what happened with the girl guide was his ‘get off’ as he made it appear to be an accidental happening. After the girl left the room, he removed the bandage making quite a point about the girl seeing me naked from the waist down – my T shirt only covered down to just below my belly button.
    I got my badge but threw it away on my way home. I have never shared this with anyone except my brother later in life.
    However, a few weeks later at a scout and guide camp fire, I plucked up the courage to approach the girl and apologise (as if it were my fault!). She actually apologised to me, giggling as she spoke so clearly no harm done…
    It made me very self conscious – going into toilets on the beach to get changed while all other boys and most girls just put a towel around themselves.
    Also when I got interested in girls aged about 17, when a girl friend clearly wanted visuals and touching, I backed off, often to their getting upset – probably feeling unwanted and insecure in their looks and appeal which was never the case.
    Even now, later in life, I am extra careful getting changed on or near a beach and always being very aware of young girls whose faces show a natural curiosity when a guy is getting changed close by.