I was a scout at ****** between 1981 – 87. My abuser became a scout leader to solely groom boys some years younger than him, he was some 10 years older than myself & my contemporaries.

Leader X was a larger than life bear of a man, slightly intimidating to a 10 year old. My best mate & his family lived a couple streets from me, this where me & mum met Leader X in a social setting. Some several years previously I had been sexually abused at a holiday camp in Bognor Regis. Thankfully another survivor of the holiday camp abuser spoke out to their parents, he was arrested & jailed. I hadn’t spoken to anyone about this abuse until one night the Police knocked on the front door, I was watching Bucks Fizz ‘Land of make believe’ on Top of the Pops with my older brother. I’m telling you this as my mum was sharing this with my best mate’s family & Leader X became privvy to this secret of mine as he later mention knowing & offered friendship, mentorship & care. Very twisted insidious grooming.

With this knowledge Leader X went on to proposition me & my best mate, my best mate told his parents. Leader X was warned about his behaviour, I have no idea how he passed off the allegations to my mates dad but he had been warned. So now he picked out the vulnerable one, me.

Leader X joined the scouts as a leader, he even volunteered to help coach at my school rugby team. I couldn’t get away from him. He’d gained my mum’s trust which looking back I can’t understand as she was told by my best mates parents he’d propositioned me & my mate. Maybe she was vulnerable too being a single mother with two sons. I’m tired now & emotional while I write down this memories.

The physical & psychology abuse happened daily but the start of it was when I was trying to achieve a scout badge restoring a piece of furniture in his woodworking shed. He conveniently left porno mags out for me to browse, he then asked me to sit on his knee & encouraged me to touch myself & he touched also, I was frozen reverting to the mindframe of the smaller 6 year old at the holiday camp.

I can’t carry on right now but Leader X persued me at every opportunity to abuse me, after scout evenings, on scout trips, sleeping in our tents & touching me. After school he’d pick me & friends up drop them off 1st & then take me to his house. It was all the time until at 16 I moved to be with my Aunt & Uncle in Cornwall.

I know I wasn’t the only boy, in the early 2000’s I contacted ****** Police Station to report his actions. The end result was that CPS felt it was my word against his, although my best mate could testify to his behaviour & his also. But as time had past my mates parents were deceased. I don’t think he was the only abuser at my group, Leader Y was into photography & once asked another mate to take in shirt off for some photos but my mate declined & left.

I hope I feel some peace of mind some day but after 40 odd years I still struggle.