Stories

Page 3

• Post 2014

  I was a scout between 2010 and 2014, in 2011 I went on a scout trip to Europe, on that trip if we got in trouble they would take the money we had been given to us by our parents/ guardians, and they would dock it.

  I remember being accused of lying by this one scout leader, they deducted money from me despite no evidence i had lied. It was a combined trip between us and another scout group, the leader of the other scout group was particularly horrible. I was 11 years old at the time, from my memory we were called Bitches by a scout leader and bullying from older kids wasn’t taken seriously. When myself and two friends got left in a shop in a city we didn’t know, we got in trouble for staying at the shop and not trying to go find the group, and money was deducted from us. I remember complaining of being made to do the washing up more than the older boys and us being told off for complaining and made to wash up in the dark late in to the night. My memory is hazy but I remember older kids bullying us and nothing being done , scout leaders joining in calling us cry babies.

  There was definite favouritism to the older boys. I remember going up a mountain in the mini van with like 3 people on one chair. I remember rumours about sexist and racist language being used by leaders.

  This was an ongoing theme through out my experience of scouts, I remember being told that I couldn’t be a patrol leader cos they already had one “girl” leader. I remember cruel games to trick us and a kid being made to run around a field in the middle of the night because they were being noisy. I remember bullying and sexual harrasment from other scouts and little education or support.. I remember being told off by scout leaders for wearing too short shorts and being told that if we dressed certain way it make us sluts.
• Sexual Abuse

  I joined the scouts at 11 years old, quickly I developed a friendship with one of the group leaders. Over the years he nurtured this friendship, talking to me most evenings on social media, texting and picking me for ‘special projects’ he encouraged me to become a young leader so we were able to see each other more often. By 15 (Around 2010) we were in a full relationship, though only a handful of people knew (no adults in scouting had been informed) however leaders regularly left us both alone in the scout premises, or arrived to groups and seeing that both of us had been there for a while before their arrival – would say nothing and not question it.

  Despite my age and being a young leader, leaders would often regard how close we were yet not challenge or question his behaviour or why we were so close, we would travel together to events, leaders would leave us both to stay up late on camps despite knowing it was just the two of us. I believe that because of this negligence he was able to start a sexual relationship with me. With all sexual conduct happening on scout premises and grounds.

  At 16 I ended the relationship and quickly became uncomfortable by his presence, leaders and friends noticed my change in behaviour towards him and noticed I was visibly uncomfortable by his presence. One leader contacted me on social media and questioned why I was so uncomfortable, I decided to tell this leader about the relationship and what had happened in person. I also explained that I was concerned he was grooming another young person now. This leader said they would deal with it but didn’t tell me what they would do, months later nothing had changed, and I found out that the leader I had reported it too was also dating a 15 year old boy and his friends/family who were also scout leaders were all aware. I suspect this is why he protected him.

  Five years later, as an adult, I realised how inappropriate the relationship had been, the negligence from other leaders and decided to lodge a complaint with the Scout Association. After notifying them of the instances that had occurred and that the leader was still working as a cub leader, I was told they wouldn’t do anything unless I reported it to the Police. After reporting it to the police the scout association continued to refuse to do anything. After asking for assistance from a county scout leader, who took the issue seriously, I was told my The Scout Associations safeguarding team that the leader would be put in front of a panel of scout leaders and they would likely side with him (denying what happened) so suggested I dropped the accusations. Eventually I sent conclusive evidence (images, screenshots) of the relationship and due to pressure from the county leader I had involved, they interviewed the leader and suggested he resigned. The safeguarding officer contacted me to notify me that he and his family were incredibly upset and was I sure I wanted to continue. I insisted they continued, but instead of removing him they suggested he resigned, which he did.

  I asked for support with counselling after the process, which had taken around 6 months and been mentally challenging, and was told this was not possible and to speak to my GP.

  The entire process was re-traumatising, I wasn’t listened to and the matter was not taken seriously.

  On reflection of my time in scouting, other than this incident I was personally aware of almost 10 inappropriate relationships (over 18’s grooming and having relationships with under 16’s) and was involved in five other instances with leaders sending me and friends inappropriate images, messages e.t.c. For these reasons I believe their is a systemic issue within scouting.
• Post 2014

  I was bullied ruthlessly by other kids in my scout group, starting almost immediately after I moved up from cubs.

  The inciting incident was that I turned down an older boys advances. I was 11 and he was 13. At first it was just uncomfortable to be around him, but soon I was being ostracised by the entire pack. Insults and name calling soon turned physical with me being pushed into a ditch and tripped into a nettle patch on a camp.

  There was no adult supervision in my scout group. Adult leaders left the older children in charge while they chatted and drank coffee in another room. Occasionally a few explorers would join for a meet, meaning I was being ganged up on not only by the older children but some young adults too.

  One explorer was hideously cruel to me. Making fun of my weight and glasses, mimicking the way I talked and encouraging the scouts to do the same. We were in the same group, but I also had to share a space with her in gang show and on camps too. It was horrible.

  I spoke to the adult leaders about what was happening many times. Even begging my parents to get involved on my behalf. I was told I had to put up with it, as these kids had better leadership qualities than me and the request that it be ensured that an adult be in the room with the children the whole 2 hour meet was unreasonable.

  My parents were told that I was dramatic and unlikeable and the way I was being treated was inevitable because I was different and socially awkward. They were convinced by the scout leaders that the bullying issue was very small series of spats between me and a few same age girls, and that I was gaining a lot more from being in scouts than I was losing.

  When I was 13 the older boy whose advances I turned down 2 years prior was now an explorer himself. He was still attending the scout meet every week with increased responsibilities. On a blended scouts and explorers camp he joined us.

  On that trip he touched me inappropriately without my consent. He also entered my tent without my knowledge and went through my luggage pack.

  Not knowing what to do I kept it to myself, thinking that nobody knew, but I was wrong. An 18 year old explorer girl was privy to all the information I wanted to keep to myself, and rather than reporting the incident to an adult leader, she discussed it with the scouts and explorers as if it were a joke.

  Ashamed I begged my parents to not send me to scouts anymore, but I couldn’t tell them why. Thankfully I didn’t have to. 3 weeks after the camp a scout told their parents about the gossip, who reached out to the scout leaders who told my mum everything but the boys name.

  I took 4 months off from scouting after that traumatic event and decided at 14 to age into explorers at a different group. The group I moved into were lovely. A well organised and a welcoming bunch.

  It took a long time, but the heavy weight of my old scout group had been weighing on me started lifting and slowly I began to feel lighter. I became a brighter, happier person. I had that sick dread feeling in my stomach for so long I didn’t even realise I’d been carrying it arouns till it was gone.

  I left scouting entirely at 15, mostly because as much as I liked my new group, it felt like a chapter in my life that I had to close.

  Out and about I’ve seen some of the people I knew from that first scout group in my adulthood. Mostly I get treated like they don’t know who I am. Maybe as a 20 year old I just look completely unrecognisable to what I did when I was 14, I’m not sure that’s the reason why though.
• Sexual Abuse

  As part of a Gangshow (it’s a variety show run and performed by Scouts) – I was in the cast under the age of 14.

  I was sexually assaulted multiple times by a male member of the cast, including when I was on stage singing as part of a bigger group of people.

  I told people about this behaviour (older friends, but in earshot of adults), and was told that ‘oh that’s just what he is like’.

  This behaviour attempted to continue in future years, including when I moved to backstage Crew at the age of 14, in part to move away from this boy. Friends of a similar age to me would make up jobs this boy had been asked to do to keep him away from me.

  Years later, he’s part of the emergency services (I believe an ambulance driver), and provides first aid during the show.
• Sexual Abuse

  1973-1976 Assistant scout leader took advantage of me being physically abused by my father, took it upon himself to make it look like he was saving me by having an an inappropriate relationship with a minor. And I know he was at it with at least 2 others, his seedy workmates were in on it, and his son would turn a blind eye.
  I did try and report it to the police but I was made out to be a troublemaker
• Post 2014

  My child’s abuse took place from aged 8-11 ( 2012-2015 )and involved grooming and full on sexual abuse/rape and many other horrendous experiences including being held under water .

  She has been in hospital for 3 years due to trauma and has a diagnosis of Complex Ptsd . There are no words to begin describing the catastrophic effect on every aspect of her life.

  We were advised by police to focus on our child – rightly so- and to let them do their job. As far as we are aware the person/s continued to work with the Scouts ‘under supervision.’

  What is known about the scale of abuse is not even the tip of the iceberg-so many will have too poor mental health, be suicidal ( maybe having even completed suicide) or substance abuse to even be in a position to do anything at all, even reading about this or talking to someone . For so many it will cause emotional – and physical – suffering beyond comprehension.

  Abuse in Scouts seems systemic and in many cases accepted.

  So many phenomenally brave people on here, speaking their truth at last.
• Post 2014

  I joined as an assistant leader recently. The scout leader was of an older generation and didn’t hold any stock in supporting children with additional needs, referring to them as naughty and talked about how she wished she could get them out of the pack. She would organise activity sessions for the pack but didn’t book enough spaces for all the kids and didn’t follow requirements for risk assessments. She would have meetings in her back garden without other leaders, just her and her husband.

  All this was known about by senior leaders in the group and district and nothing was done to stop her. It was seen as a quirk and accepted as we did not have enough leaders. Safeguarding was less important that bums on seats. Can’t turn down a volunteer! No matter how awful they are, so long as they pass the DBS check…
• Sexual Abuse

  I was groomed from age 12 and abused from age 13 by my scout leader, who was 20 years my senior. This was in 1993. He manipulated me into a highly intimate ‘friendship’, saying I was the only one who could understand and help him with his social and sexual issues. As a lonely and ‘gifted’ child I was an easy target, and I believed him.

  He was very highly respected in the local community and I didn’t feel able to tell anyone for fear of the reprecussions, for both of us. The abuse often happened during scouting activities, with him controlling/rewarding me with increased scouting responsibilities and perks beyond my years.

  It also frequently happened in private in his house, and gradually included dedicated camping trips away, for which I always owed him money. He got me a good part-time job with his company, also making him my boss and the source of my income – another level of control.

  He sexually abused me on a weekly basis for more than five years. I lied to my family and my friends about it the entire time. He was incredibly jealous and manipulative, repeatedly sabotaging any attempts I made to have normal teenage relationships, often by threatening to kill himself if I slept with anyone else. He even tried it, and I saved his life more than once.

  At one point he was arrested for possession of child pornography, but manipulated me into lying to defend him, and the police who interviewed me clearly had no safeguarding knowledge or training whatsoever. He got away with some small service in the community, who all still worshipped him. The Scouting Association were well aware of this issue, but he was simply ‘reprimanded’ for this ‘minor’ conviction, without them taking any further action.

  By this time, I was also helping to run the local scout group. I learnt that I was not the only one he abused. There were others before me, and afterwards. I know some of their names.

  I eventually escaped to university far away, so the frequency of the abuse reduced signficantly, although the intensity of his controlling behaivour took years to subside. I was left with deep psychological issues with trust and intimacy, which blighted many of my relationships and left me angry, lonely and miserable for many years.

  I eventually told someone my story at the age of 26, and the disclosure triggered a significant bout of ill mental health. I struggled with this, but gradually confided in a few more close friends, before eventually managing to go to the police at 33 years old. A thorough investigation followed, which required me to also disclose to my parents, siblings, and several ex-girlfriends – a traumatic experience in itself.

  My abuser was arrested, and his assets seized. The investigation dragged on for about a year, during which we contacted some of his other victims, but none were mentally healthy enough to come forward. I repeatedly told the police he was a suicide risk, with specific details on his preferred method. A few weeks before he would have been charged by the CPS, he killed himself, in exactly the manner I always said he would, therefore denying me any closure via justice. It took months of requests and effort to even get the CPS to tell me what they would have charged him with, and what the likely sentence would have been.

  As advised, I applied for and was granted an ‘award’ (awful terminology) by the Criminal Injury Compensation Authority, however, the award was the minimum possible because it was apparently clear from my good job and relatively functional life that “the abuse had not caused me signficant damage”. It was also made clear to me that if there was any way I could reclaim those funds via a civil case then I should do so, such that they could be used for ‘less fortunate’ innocent victims. I therefore approached some solicitors, and instigated a civil case.

  The Scouting Association claimed that my abusers actions had been nothing to do with their organisation, and argued that he alone was the responsible party. After much discussion and deliberation, my lawyers advised me that the case would be much more likely to succeed if it were not against the Scouting Association, but instead against my abuser’s estate. I grudgingly followed their advice, and the Scouting Association were therefore let off with no consequences whatsoever for allowing this to happen.

  The civil case was an entirely unpleasant affair that lasted almost five years, as my dead abuser’s family fought to retain his estate for themselves. It was eventually settled in my favour, but by the time all the lawyer fees, costs, insurances, etc. has been paid, the amount of damages I received was actually less than the CICA had awarded me – and they then insisted I had to pay that award back anyway, so I ended up out of pocket for trying to do the right thing. Just on my side of the case, the lawyers’ turnover was over three times larger than the damages i received .

  In the end I not only sufferred half a decade of abuse, but I was catastrophically let down by the Scouting Association, by the police, by the criminal justice system, and by the civil legal system, none of which are remotely fit for purpose in my opinion.

  However, without any credit to any of them, I’m now reasonably healthy and happy. I spent several years in some very challenging therapy, and have worked through the issues he left me. Although it didn’t go the way it should have done, I am proud to have made the hard decisions, stuck to my principles, and still be standing at the end of it all.

  If my story can help others, then I’m very happy to share it. I would perhaps even do so without anonymity, if that would be somehow useful. I regularly donate to NAPAC, and would volunteer to work with them, but I live abroad these days which makes it difficult.

  I sincerely hope that Yours In Scouting can have a positive effect on the Scouting Association, and their hopelessly inadequate safeguarding policies, so that more children don’t have to suffer. If there is more I can do to help the cause, then please let me know.
• Post 2014

  There is no legal duty of care for volunteer leaders who chose to ignore the escalating bullying by other Scouts of my neurodiverse child. We followed Scout Association policies and reported the bullying. Despite bringing it to their attention and being given assurances as to safeguarding, the Scout leaders left them with the same group of boys who then simulated anal rape on him.

  The leaders’ position was that they believed the bullies who were ‘good boys’, whose parents were involved in the Scouting movement, and that my son could choose to go elsewhere whilst the bullies were allowed to remain. My son developed PTSD now exacerbated by Covid into total isolationism and a lack of trust. All because of institutional norms that perpetuate a lack of regard for the safety of young people in their care.

  We attempted to obtain justice, were misadvised by three sets of solicitors that there was a duty of care, only to lose our case because there were no legal grounds. The Scout Association pursued costs against both my son and myself, meaning they now own a good percentage of our home.
• Post 2014

  When I was 15, I was a young leader at a cub group whilst also in explorers and on a district cub camping weekend I met a leader from another cub group who was in his 20s at the time. Nothing happened that weekend, but following the camp we added each other on social media and started talking and the grooming began. It started as a friendship, we became best friends very quickly and I saw him as an older brother. We bonded over our struggles with our mental health and personal losses we had experienced in life.

  Within a few months of meeting him, I would meet up with him after school and one evening he told me he had feelings for me, and being too scared to say no to him, I said I did too and we started a relationship. Before I turned 16, I had been sexually assaulted and raped by him.
  The relationship lasted until I was 17, over 2 years since I first met him and for the majority of this time he was still a cub leader, until he was suspended by the organisation for reasons I still do not know, and thankfully he hasn’t returned since.

  Our relationship was living hell, he was emotionally abusive and I was raped on multiple occasions. The suicide threats and attempts were none stop and I did everything I possibly could to keep that man alive at the cost of my own mental health, my closest friendships and my education.

  In the last few months of our relationship the abuse got so much worse – he had enrolled at my college and I was being harassed constantly. We eventually broke up a few months later but the harassment continued and I was stalked one evening, which ended in him being arrested but later released with no further action. It seemed to be enough to scare him and on the most part I have been left alone since then.

  After years of therapy, I reported all the abuse to the scout association in 2021, however a safeguarding officer told me that because he was no longer a leader, it was a police matter not theirs, and they would not look into it further. A few months later, I got back in touch with them and pushed for it to be looked into it further, which thankfully it picked up by another safeguarding officer who reported it to the police for me. Unfortunately the police case dragged on for 18 months, he was voluntarily interviewed once (and denying it all), but the CPS decided not to charge him based on the technicality that he wasn’t MY scout leader, despite the fact that none of the abuse would have happened if it wasn’t for scouting.

  I now live with PTSD and anxiety from the trauma and my emotions towards him and the scout association are those filled with anger and upset. Although never directly confirmed, conversations with multiple members of the safeguarding team and the police have given me the impression they were aware of the abuse or a relationship between us to some degree, which looking back is no surprise given I met and went on holiday with his family, including a relative that is a leader at the same group and they saw me at an event in my explorer uniform!

  Things need to change within the organisation. I once loved scouting and it was such a huge part of my life, but they are putting their reputation before the safety of young people and I cannot understand how this is ever acceptable.